What to do when you re dating a mama boy
Some say they make the most loving partners. Have you ever found his mum throwing jabs at you directly or indirectly? Do you always seem to upset her? Nothing you do is good enough? Love her or leave him. In his eyes nothing is better than his mum's home cooking. We won't give up. Erm, what happened to your boyfriend?
Care to share mum? If he hasn't already moved out, he probably never will. Will he ever learn? And if you refuse he gets upset. His mom is the most important person to him so if mama ain't happy he isn't either. If mom doesn't like what you're wearing or how you decorated the house he comes running for you to change it.
Yea, she can try. He sounds like someone who doesn't respect women. All I can say is you can't change him. You can only change how you allow him to treat you. He has to be the one to draw some healthy boundaries between the both of you and his mother.
I hope things get better for you. I've been w a mamas boy for 20yrs. When asked why he never defended me, he says I deserved it. His mom took over my home and my children. We tried to make it work, but instead he started hating on my own mom, for completely made up reasons!! So on top of everything else, he is a compulsive liar.
Outside of these issues, he appears loving, is a good dad to his boys and girls, but I also think he is incapable of divorcing me although he has made threats. The answer almost seems obvious, but what should I do? We tried therapy 10yrs ago, but I will not recommend that since he thinks everything his mom did to me was right not liking my American clothing, my cooking, and even forcing me to go places w her.
I saw the movie Monster In Law. There is no way any woman should be in such a demeaning relationship. You are right about Daddy's boys too. Thanks so much for your insightful comment. I totally agree with you as I myself have heard a lot about them. Also, there are Daddy's boys who listen to their fathers in every way which can be equally tiresome as Mama's boys!
Yes, you are absolutely right that the man should establish the boundaries with his mother and takes very good care of his wife or girlfriend. Your list of red flags are clearly stated. While reading this engaging hub, the film 'Monster-in-law' popped up in my mind - in this film, Jennifer lopez's finacee was quite a Mama's boy though he loved his finacee very much.
However, after many stifling consequences with her over-pushy would-be mother-in-law Jane fonda, in the end Jennifer advised Jane to accept the boundaries with her son, they patched up and all ended well. Well, this is one of the fewest exceptions! If any man is a typical Mama's boy, better avoid him! I think tammyswallow, human nature and behaviours are almost same all over the world. I also love and enjoy hubpages, it allows me to know different people and their views on different issues.
It is really interesting to learn that this problem happens in other countries. I love Hubpages because we can global views of such situations. Thanks so much for sharing that. It seems we are on the same page! Does your man act more like a boy when he's around his mom? Do you feel like he's constantly choosing her over you?
Does he expect you to coddle him the way his mother does? Has your guy become his mom's pseudo-husband which is making it hard for him to commit to you? Or is it mama that's not yet ready to cut the cord? Have you reached the point where you're planning tell him that he has to start setting some boundaries? Or are you going to confront his mother directly and tell her to back off? If you appear to be between the ages of and feel that it's time to rehabilitate your mama's boy, email us at casting triplethreattv. Please include your name, location, phone number and recent photos of yourself.
Your thoughts are very insightful lovedoctor It is a big symptom of lack of boundaries. Thanks so much for visiting and commenting. A very well-written article. I've never dated a mama's boy and I wouldn't be interested either. I've always loved a strong and independent man. Mama's boys are not necessarily bad guys, it's just that they haven't learned to set some boundaries.
On the other hand, some of these mother in laws haven't learned to respect their grown son's boundaries. It might work for some women, but not for me. You are just right-on, right down-the-line, hitting the nail on its head, with your information. Fun to read, and a great 'flag' for others, I'm sure. You are very brave Ruchira! Thanks for the comment! I will check it out. Thanks Jackie, They really do. It is selfish of a mother to expect her son to live for only her.
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I appreciate that thought! I so agree with you. Mothers who baby their sons or daughters and don't push them out of the nest just cannot seem to see what a disservice they are doing children they claim to love. That seems to be the consensus on this so far. So many people have been through it. Thanks for your visit! Good advice -- hard to compete with a man' mother -- so I don't know that getting into a relationship with such a boy is worth it. Voting this Up and Interesting. Good for you Jeannie! You will do better to find someone who will make you a priority.
I just dumped a Mama's boy. I could go off on a rant about it, but what is the point? I've dated a couple in my time and I hope to never make that mistake again. Voted up and awesome! You hit the nail on the head Peanutritious. These relationships are not healthy and if the man is not willing to respect you enough to enforce the healthy boundaries, he needs to go. I am glad you got out of this type of relationship. It isn't good for anyone! Did you write this about my ex?
Him and his dominating mother had an unhealthy bond. She never liked me and made it perfectly obvious. When I mentioned it to him his response was 'She's always like that with my girlfriends! Needless to say, he's history! So I married a mama's boy, divorced him, and then later married the exact opposite. Both have pros and cons - can't there just be a happy medium?! Hello and thank you for reading. You are too kind. I love Raspberry doughnuts.. I will bring the coffee! Between our love of doughnuts and your writing style, where have you been all my Hub life? I know I am going to enjoy your work!
I'm feeling very similar in thought You crack me up kialina.. AND the man who will wear them.. Thank your for your humor! How about the mum who still buys her married son his underwear and socks You are TOOO kind! I appreciate you stopping by to read and comment. My Favorite Hubber You! Thanks for that response Healthy Pursuits. That is so true. I have definaltley met that man! These parent child relationships really set the bar for how someone will behave in life. You brought up an excellent point! Between the misogynist and the momma's boy is another category to run from.
That's the guy who is frustrated because he's still looking for his mother's love and getting it only often enough to keep him coming back for more. We look at women and their mothers and men and their fathers and think of those relationships as very involved and interesting. I am sure it would bring them out of the word work and they would leave evil comments.. Mysogynist is another whole HUB in itself!
1. His mum comes over unannounced.
I wouldn't touch that with someone else's computer! That subject brings out bad vibes and disappointment! I think you have met the classic Mama's boy and I am glad you ran far away. This demonstrates the damaged psychology of this individual and the cycle of dependence he could not break.
You Can't Cut the Cord For Him- How to Live With a Mama's Boy | PairedLife
Certain hovering mothers enable their sons to be this way and they really ruin the lives of their sons. They get flattered and an emotional high from the praise and worship from their son's and thrive off of it. They actually feel redeemed when their son's let them rule everything and valued by their son's loyalty.
This psychological conditioning isn't fixable in most cases because it is part of the son's cognitive development. He has been conditioned to remain dependant on her for life. This is a very unhealthy way to raise and child and it is why it makes dating a Mama's boy impossible. Thank you for sharing. These are thought provoking ideas! Thank you for sharing your excellent thoughts. There are many of these men out there too.
They make very poor mates and especially fathers. A think a woman is better off with the most whipped Mama's boy These men hate women and you can't trust them. A loving mother-son relationship is natural and expected. Avoid attempts to become number one. It is always going to be mama first for your boyfriend.
Your attempt to make him consider you the top priority in his life is just one sure way to distance him from you. Let him have his freedom to always choose his mama first. This attitude may even endear you more to him.
How to Cope With a Mama's Boy
But, try to look at it from the viewpoint of a concerned mother who wants her son happy and is at the same time terrified that a girlfriend would separate him from her. Make your relationship with his mother a priority. Meet her whenever possible and wish her well on birthdays and special occasions. Make her your ally and not an adversary. Give the mother and son more opportunities to be together by inviting them to your family get-togethers, special occasions and celebrations at your home.